First sentence: you need a better hook, to pull the readers in, maybe reword it a little bit, talking about the modern effect of the Starbucks logo on today's society. Second Paragraph: needs maybe less repetition about the age group target of the ad, ad more about why this may be, and how you can tell. The thesis statement actually sounds good--with its comparison of Nestle to Starbucks. "free sample of all flavors for free" sounds a little too much, maybe use free just once, because other wise it just sounds like it shouldn't be there. Also, its better not to start off the paragraph with a quote, should use something to transition from the last paragraph to the next. Although your essay isn't completely done, the ideas behind it are very interesting and seem to be heading in a nice direction. :) - Arsa Ghazal
I think you have a really nice start, it's a little hard though since I can't see your ad and what to suggest. I agree with Arsa about going into more detail about why the specific group is being targeted and what elements of the ad are doing this. Like he said on the directions for the paper, write about the colors and how the ad is put together. Also why the ad may be put in this magazine. Good start!
A great start and I understand how you felt about organizing it, it was confusing to me at first. A suggestion I can give you is that when I was doing my outline I wrote out the aspects to analyze such as context, audience, composition, color, tone and voice. While I didn't use all of them, I expanded on those that were greatly shown in the ad and used them to prove my argument. Also, you have a different type of advertisement then most, being that not only do they want you to by Nescafe, but they want those whose routines conform around starbucks to change their ways for the better taste and more economic standpoint. In doing this I think outside sources showing maybe the overwhelming conformity to starbucks and even outlandish pricing. These could help you to further solidify whether or not this is a successful ad based on the context of societal norms Besides just more expansion and outlining the points you will discuss this paper has much potential and im sure that it will grow rapidly as soon as you get the ideas organized. Just take one aspect at a time and connect them through out the paper as it applies and you should be on the right track.
I think you have a good start and the ad sounds really interesting.
You talk specify women a lot. I realize that the ad is in InStyle magazine, which I assume is female oriented, but be sure you state exactly why you talk about females specifically. You could talk about the magazine audience or what the magazines subject is. Also is there anything in the ad that specifically targets women over men? Maybe colors or setting or text?
The contrast of competing brands and one attacking another is really interesting and I'd definitely continue analysis that part of the ad. The audience and what they know or assume is a big part of the effectiveness of such an ad and I'm glad your spend some time talking about them.
Keep going and be sure to state what Nestles intentions and goals are with the ad. Do they want you to stop drinking Starbucks or just to try both of them. Are they making a logical argument that their's tastes better or is just cheaper? Maybe it's more of an emotional backlash against Starbucks as a company?
First sentence: you need a better hook, to pull the readers in, maybe reword it a little bit, talking about the modern effect of the Starbucks logo on today's society. Second Paragraph: needs maybe less repetition about the age group target of the ad, ad more about why this may be, and how you can tell. The thesis statement actually sounds good--with its comparison of Nestle to Starbucks.
ReplyDelete"free sample of all flavors for free" sounds a little too much, maybe use free just once, because other wise it just sounds like it shouldn't be there. Also, its better not to start off the paragraph with a quote, should use something to transition from the last paragraph to the next. Although your essay isn't completely done, the ideas behind it are very interesting and seem to be heading in a nice direction.
:)
- Arsa Ghazal
I think you have a really nice start, it's a little hard though since I can't see your ad and what to suggest. I agree with Arsa about going into more detail about why the specific group is being targeted and what elements of the ad are doing this.
ReplyDeleteLike he said on the directions for the paper, write about the colors and how the ad is put together. Also why the ad may be put in this magazine. Good start!
Samantha Goldstein
Tiffany-
ReplyDeleteA great start and I understand how you felt about organizing it, it was confusing to me at first. A suggestion I can give you is that when I was doing my outline I wrote out the aspects to analyze such as context, audience, composition, color, tone and voice. While I didn't use all of them, I expanded on those that were greatly shown in the ad and used them to prove my argument.
Also, you have a different type of advertisement then most, being that not only do they want you to by Nescafe, but they want those whose routines conform around starbucks to change their ways for the better taste and more economic standpoint. In doing this I think outside sources showing maybe the overwhelming conformity to starbucks and even outlandish pricing. These could help you to further solidify whether or not this is a successful ad based on the context of societal norms
Besides just more expansion and outlining the points you will discuss this paper has much potential and im sure that it will grow rapidly as soon as you get the ideas organized. Just take one aspect at a time and connect them through out the paper as it applies and you should be on the right track.
I think you have a good start and the ad sounds really interesting.
ReplyDeleteYou talk specify women a lot. I realize that the ad is in InStyle magazine, which I assume is female oriented, but be sure you state exactly why you talk about females specifically. You could talk about the magazine audience or what the magazines subject is. Also is there anything in the ad that specifically targets women over men? Maybe colors or setting or text?
The contrast of competing brands and one attacking another is really interesting and I'd definitely continue analysis that part of the ad. The audience and what they know or assume is a big part of the effectiveness of such an ad and I'm glad your spend some time talking about them.
Keep going and be sure to state what Nestles intentions and goals are with the ad. Do they want you to stop drinking Starbucks or just to try both of them. Are they making a logical argument that their's tastes better or is just cheaper? Maybe it's more of an emotional backlash against Starbucks as a company?