Dear Sara, Interesting idea for analysis, I think you should include your last statement (at the bottom of the page) in the intro as part of your thesis. You need to organize your thoughts and analyze the effects of each elements you mentioned in the ad. you need to clean up your introduction a bit because it contains too much background information. Although the ad might seem to target only gamers, your essay has to interest both gamers and non-gamers. I think it sounded a bit too technical. Thank you Tran
Sara, The introduction paragraph included useful information for people like me, who don't know much about the gaming world. I think you should give more details as to how the phrase, "We're not in Azeroth anymore" captures both gamers and non-gammers and its effect. Also, explain how the ad can capture some one who isn't a gammer. I like how your paper doesn't gear to someone who is a gammer. Besides the intro, you include information here and there explain certain aspects that helped me understand.
Dear Sara,
ReplyDeleteInteresting idea for analysis, I think you should include your last statement (at the bottom of the page) in the intro as part of your thesis. You need to organize your thoughts and analyze the effects of each elements you mentioned in the ad. you need to clean up your introduction a bit because it contains too much background information. Although the ad might seem to target only gamers, your essay has to interest both gamers and non-gamers. I think it sounded a bit too technical.
Thank you
Tran
Sara,
ReplyDeleteThe introduction paragraph included useful information for people like me, who don't know much about the gaming world. I think you should give more details as to how the phrase, "We're not in Azeroth anymore" captures both gamers and non-gammers and its effect. Also, explain how the ad can capture some one who isn't a gammer. I like how your paper doesn't gear to someone who is a gammer. Besides the intro, you include information here and there explain certain aspects that helped me understand.
Have a good one,
Tahiris